Horror Scope - 25 February 2008

Pisces

Crickey, you’re a slippery one. Get yourself into compete flap when someone pulls you out the current. Well, it ain’t always smooth flowing in these waters! So here’s the deal Stinky…stop being so selfish…fish! Yes, even you make mistakes, but your short memory doesn’t lend well to learning the curve. You’re too straight forward!

Aries

Well clearly there’s been some misunderstanding. No wait! Sorry, my mistake! There hasn’t, it’s just the writing on the ‘wall’ clearing up!

Taurus

Little sensitive Bull with corks on your horns! Shame! Show some assertive aggression dam nit! Its red, chase it, chase it!

Gemini

Look, we can’t introduce ourselves to you both…it’s one, or the other! Every date is a threesome in your case so which one is it? I’d say stick with the one with personality! The other could bore a hole through a Virgo!

Cancer

I’m guessing you’re on holiday this week? No! Got a pay increase? Nah! Won the lotto? Negative! Hold on, are those feathers you’re walking on??? Bingo, you got laid!!!

Leo

Nope, didn’t think so…maybe next week!

Virgo

You have a hole through you! And the Gemini bustard isn’t showing the slightest bit of compassion for this disaster. Nothing like a hole through you though, just to start the week!

Libra

Please, stop eating garlic or this week will feel like a Leona Lewis song…for everyone!

Scorpio

HIGH FIVE! HAAAAAAAAAAAAAANGING!

Sagittarius

Naughty, naughty…but I like it! Yeah! Everyone wants to say, “Hey sweet cheeks!” And you’ll reply with little giggles…which it’s a little silly, and a little hairy, and a little scary…

Capricorn

Caprimelie….long time till your Birthday hey…aaaa, pettle! Don’t worry, it’s Leap Year! So you get to wait one more day!

Aquarius

Two things to remember this week, stage and presence. Head’s need to turn, you’re the prize, and trophies like to be touched. Confidence is key! Wear gold, lots of it. And get a tattoo, on your forehead!