Horror Scope - 14 August 2007

Leo
Spank my hinny and call me Jimbo. You've finally arrived at your destination, the place you feel you fit in. Don’t expect too much though! In time, nuts like you loose their thread!

Virgo
A run away hubcap will lodge itself up your nose!

Libra
A screaming Virgo will ask you to dislodge a run away hubcap from they're nose!

Scorpio
‘Can you feel the love tonight?’ Dude, you may want to keep those socks on in bed because whoever is sharing it with you is going to cause a chill.

Sagittarius
Someone at work is pissing you off! They lambaste you with comments and snide remarks. Solution? Start a rumour that they go to ‘Star Trek’ conventions. However if they’re a Pisces, don’t expect much notice!

Capricorn
Still wish you hadn’t said that? Yes, I know, you are a fool! The original idiot! Buy some ice-cream, get some DVD’s and lock yourself in the house. It’s better this way, at least until the gale blows away that cloud hanging over your head towards the end of the week.

Aquarius
Hi there! What’s your name? Really?!! No, get out of here! Come on!
Everyone just wants to listen to you this week..not sure why? Numb nuts!

Pisces
I’m not talking to you!

Aries
Well at least one star is shinning this week! Don’t blind anyone…aaa, for fuck sakes don’t you come with a dimmer?

Taurus
You’re objective, sulky and sensitive! Take a holiday on a deserted island, or pay for a friend to go instead! Either way you’ll make someone happy if it’s not yourself!

Gemini
Financials, good! Love life, average! Ability to acquire a reasonable amount of non-saturated social behavior while still managing to enjoy a seasonable and responsible approach to life, terrible!

Cancer
Oh my word, that was so last year! Get a new wardrobe you hobo!