Virgo
Well, it’s a good start! But Virgo’s and love is like adding too much flour to gravy! The sauce starts to thicken up after a few passionate stirs!
Libra
LOVE! Sorry what? Not too sure what that is hey! Well here’s a hint! In your case, it’s like a cold spring, nothing has blossomed yet!
Scorpio
Lucky you! You getting all the passion you need. Not Enough? Well then I suggest you find some Formula Ugggh!
Sagittarius
You suck at love right now…no really, you suck! Problem! Too much over share…sort of like, sharing bath water!
Capricorn
Ha ha, the Dark Horse of love! Oh well, at least you meeting new and peculiar people! Means more Christmas cards for the Christmas Baby!
Aquarius
You’re looking for the perfect lover, the ultimate shagger, and someone who squeezes the tooth paste from the bottom! Controlling doesn’t help! You’re just looking for a needle in a concrete block!
Pisces
Still don’t know what love is huh? Or maybe you do! Fish have a memory of 3 seconds…
Aries
Spring hold’s great romance for you this week! So push that meat ball with your nose towards them, you might get lucky! You might get laid!! You might get MARRIED!!!
Taurus
You and The Aquarians should hook up, really! You’re like two pods in a pea! Stop looking for the one, and try two!
Gemini
Romance hits you like a demolition ball this week! Good! Candles and a hot tub, mmmmm! Nice!
Cancer
You haven’t really embraced spring yet, you’re still in your winter woolies! Shame! Maybe try a romance novel to get you in the mood…you know, one of those cheap petrol station books with the suspense rate of watching someone assemble their Zimmer frame!
Leo
You had all your loving last week! Sorry for you…early bird catches the worm! You should have played with your food before swallowing it! Ha ha….
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